FAM(ILY)

I'm sure you all have seen the photo that says:

Fri(END)

Boyfri(END)

Girlfri(END)

Bestfri(END)

Everything has an END except Fam(ILY) <= it has (I LOVE YOU)

I thought that it was pretty neat. Family – they are the foundation that made you who you are. Whether you’ve come from a bad childhood or a great one, from a family that was negligent or a model family that all other families should aspire to be like; their actions have affected you and impacted your life which led you to make the choices that have molded you into the person that you are today.

My family; what can I say about my family?

I had a wonderful childhood and my family loved me dearly. They were supportive, encouraging, and thoughtful. I am blessed with many happy memories from my youth.

I had a terrible childhood and my family didn’t know how to love me. They were unsupportive, demeaning, and careless. I am cursed with many unhappy memories from my youth.

You wouldn’t think it would be possible to say both things, but both things are true for me. Sometimes they were the former statement, sometimes they were the latter. I had just one family and we had many great moments together and many horrible moments together. Maybe it was me, maybe some days I was so horrible that they had to be horrible to me in turn. Maybe some days I was so wonderful that they were wonderful to me in turn. 

I’ve suffered abuse; I’ve experienced love.  

My parents gave me a stable home and so they gave me security. I’ve only ever seen my parents argue two times. This is not to say they never argued, but that they were smart enough to do it behind closed doors. They have never called each other nasty names or done things to hurt each other. Though they would often disagree, they wouldn’t turn it into a fight.

Both of my parents were hard workers. My father had the same job for eighteen plus years, until the economy fell through and the company went under. I've seen my dad go to work sick on plenty of occasions, unless he was dying he would go to work even in a snowstorm, I know, because it happened.

My parents were at odds with each other when it came to raising their three kids. My mother was the disciplinarian and my father was resigned. My mother was strict and overbearing where my father was lenient and permissive. I wish they could have molded together into one parental unit instead of being complete opposites.

My mother and I would argue terribly, perhaps because I’m a lot like her. My smart mouth was inherited from her after all. I also inherited her impatience, edginess, and anxieties. I wish I could have inherited my dad’s self-control and easy-going  demeanor.

My mother was not a monster. In fact, she is one of my best friends. She taught me a great deal of things. Most of my morals and values come from her. She taught me responsibility and loyalty. I got my love of reading, writing, and my ability to do well at school from her too. She gives me advice, is a comfort to me, and is always there when I need her. We had a lot of good times together. We had a lot of bad times together too.

Whenever she and I would get into a big disagreement, we would go into our separate rooms and write a letter to the other. We would communicate via letters so that we would listen without interrupting and work out the problem. I remember little drives we would go on late at night just to talk. I remember a mom who would brush my long brown hair and tell me that she loved me. A mom who would cry after we fought and tell me she was sorry for hurting me, for the horrible things she had said to me, for the horrible way she had treated me.

She would think it was her fault for being a bad mom. I would think it was my fault for being a bad daughter.

I had a horrible childhood and I had a wonderful childhood. It taught me many things and shaped me into who I am today. I’m really close to my family, so close that I picked up my life and followed them when they moved out of state. I can’t stand to be living an hour away from them now because it feels like so far.

I forgive my parents for all the mistakes they made in raising their children. I forgive them for the emotional and yes even physical abuse. I forgive them for all the things they did wrong because I know that they did their best and also because I can commend them for all of the many things they did right. I thank them for the love they gave, the support, and for the fact that I know I will always have a home and a family that I can depend on. I’m thankful they always kept us all close and together.

I’m thankful to my family; I’m thankful for my family. Although I hope to not make all the same mistakes they did, I know they will be there for me while I make my own mistakes. I’d be nothing without my family, after all, if not for them I wouldn’t even be alive.